It’s pretty easy to identify hostile, overt sexism. But what about its partner, benevolent sexism? Something that sounds so nice and well-intentioned must be relatively harmless, right?

Wrong. Benevolent sexism is NOT at all harmless. In fact, research shows it may end up having more negative effects on women than overt, hostile sexism (see this study, for example). So what is it? What does it look like in the fisheries profession, and how can we make sure we aren’t doing it?

“Here, let me carry that for you”. “I don’t send women into the field there, it’s not safe”. “So glad you are joining us, sure is good to have some gentle female energy added to this group of guys”. “You take such great care of us, you’re like the team mom”.

Statements like the above are often meant with good intentions. However, they represent benevolent sexism because they still frame women as different from men and reinforce gender stereotypes. Statements like these position women as in need of help or protection. Benevolent sexism lauds women for stereotypically feminine qualities (“you really brighten up the place”; “it’s great to have your sensitivity to balance out us dudes here”) while at the same time treating them as incompetent in traditionally male areas (“do you need help with that code?” “Here, I’ll drive the boat”). And as the Women of Fisheries have discussed, it’s incredibly frustrating to navigate.

“But I’m just being polite!” one may argue. And maybe that’s the case. How do you know if it’s benevolent sexism at play? One way is to reflect: would you do or say the same thing if the other person wasn’t a woman? Would you offer the same help to a colleague who is a man, for example? If you offer to hold the net for anyone, you are being polite. If you realize you only offer it for women colleagues, that’s benevolent sexism.

Does this mean stop offering to help your colleagues, or that you can’t compliment your friends? Of course not. It just means you need to make sure you are not doing it in a sexist way. Compliment everyone equally, and don’t just compliment women for traditionally “feminine” skills or traits (or assume they have them-we aren’t all sensitive, for example!). Offer the same help to all your colleagues regardless of gender. Point out to colleagues when they are being benevolently sexist. And as always, listen to women if they try to tell you about their own experiences, or how they feel about statements or actions.

Want to learn more? This excellent comic breaks it down further, as does this article.